Mother’s Day is supposed to be a day honoring mom’s or those who are a mother figure to you.
Since becoming a mom myself mother’s day is becoming the only holiday that I sometimes want to ignore.
Why? Because I’m a mom to a severely handicapped child.
While Lily is my world and I wouldn’t trade her for anything, it can be difficult to see the traditional ways kids celebrate their moms. (Don’t get me wrong I do love seeing them.) It wasn’t so bad when Lily was tiny but now that she’s almost 5 it’s becoming more difficult.
Gifts of simple drawings of hearts and stick figure portraits.
Carefully thought out poems.
Flowers personally picked.
Breakfast in bed.
The hugs and the “I love you mom”‘s.
These are things Lily just can’t do.
Someday she hopefully will be able to do all these things but at this time in her life she has to rely on someone else to guide her hands to draw a picture, she can choose between two things when presented to her if she’s in the mood, and she loves to help me bake. But as I said everything is done for her. We have to guess what she wants to choose between or help with. She cannot speak in actual words, although she is doing her best to communicate in her own way.
I am so thankful that her school does a great job at helping her create cute little things which I definitely cherish.
I just long for the full intent of her expressing herself completely in her own way. I long for her to let us know if she wants to draw a picture or bake a cake. I long for her to tell us she wants to watch a movie or read a book. I long to hear the words ‘I Love You’.
Most days it doesn’t bother me because I know she’s a miracle and she has made so many gains even in just the last year. I’m incredibly thankful to have her here when we were told she wouldn’t make it.
Seeing other moms share about their mothers day doesn’t make me jealous or upset. I just long for the day that Lily can express herself in the way she wants to.
So until she can do that, I will smile over other moms posts about the way their kids showed them love and I will dream of and pray for the day that Lily can do the same all on her own.