I can’t tell you how many times I talk to other special needs moms who are barely making it. Not just physically and emotionally but financially as well. When we talk to others who don’t have special needs kids the common response is “Well why don’t you do a fundraiser?”.
Here is why:
Remember that physically and emotionally comment?
Yep, a lot of us are physically caring for a 30lb, 40lb, 60lb child who can’t walk, is not toilet trained, some can’t sit on their own. They don’t all hold on to you when you pick them up. Getting them in and out of the bathtub is difficult. Some are having muscle pain so bad that the only thing that calms them is to have mom hold them on her shoulder and walk around. Some have tight muscles, so when you go to move their arms or legs to get dressed they fight you. Many of them do not sleep well through the night. This wonderful job of being a special needs mom is very physically exhausting!!
I’m sure you can only guess the emotional end of it. We have to constantly think of what the child needs before they need it to avoid any repercussions. We have to keep up on multiple Dr’s visits, therapy visits, insurance, school, medications. Some have seizures or other conditions that require constant supervision. Even feeding them can be stressful, you can’t always just swing by a drive through if your running late getting home. Some have a feeding tube, some are only able to eat certain foods that aren’t common in a fast food restaurant. Not to mention the time it takes to feed them is usually multiplied. Some are restricted to a liquid diet. Some can only have thickened drinks. We have to occasionally plan and think the unthinkable of what will happen if something happens to them (sickness, injury, death) … or even worse, what happens to them if something happens to us. We have to plan ahead for everything. It is very emotionally exhausting!
Add all this to the typical everyday being a mom stuff. Some days we are lucky to get one load of laundry switched over and the dishes under control. Never mind all the other typical house work that needs done.
Now try to ask your self why we don’t “just do a fundraiser”.
Would you if you were in our position?
Of course we would love to do one. But the fact of the matter is that we are barely making it as it is. How in the world could we devote the time to do one. Sometimes our world feels like it’s falling apart and the stress of a fundraiser would just pile on even more.
A better question to ask is:
“Can I help do a fundraiser for you?”
You don’t have to do anything gigantic! We aren’t asking for a huge dinner fundraiser with raffles and auctions that you spend months planning for. (However we would gladly accept it.)
Just do something simple. A small bake sale. Have a garage sale and donate your profits. Ask if you could start a fundraiser page. (You Caring, Go Fund Me, etc.) Make a simple craft and sell it. Bake a pie and ask friends on facebook who wants to purchase it to help a family out. If your a consultant for something like Thirty-One, Mary Kay, Avon, Usborne Books, etc. Do a party and donate your commission. You’d be surprised what little things can do.
Showing you care and that you are actually willing to act instead of just saying sweet things means the world to us!
You’d be surprised how much just a little extra kindness can help fill us up and we once again feel ready to conquer another day.